So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
