I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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