Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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