new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
