I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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