please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Operation Purity has been aborted
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
