yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
