So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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