Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
