I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
