yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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