I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize