Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
