Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
