Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
