Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
