quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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