Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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