whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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