thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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