Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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