And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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