He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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