i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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