yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
