I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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