In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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