I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
