I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
