Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
