I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
