some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
