remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
