no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
