either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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