they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
