absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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