Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
