craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
