i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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