Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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