rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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