this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
