Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I smell stomach acid.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
