I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
