Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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