If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
50% drunk capacity currently
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
