dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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