your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
