Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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