But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
worst night to have a conscience
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
