seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
