I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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