The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
