Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
