My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
