Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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