Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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