and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
