dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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