You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
