He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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