I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
